Many people enjoy anal sex – straight, gay, bisexual. It is the type of sexual activity revolving around the idea of pleasuring of the anal area. Most people think of anal sex as to when a man’s penis enters the anus, but it could also include using of fingers or sex toys like vibrators, dildos and butt plugs inserted in the anus, or licking the anal area which is colloquially known as ‘rimming’.
How to Experience Anal Sex: a few tips
First things first: Communicate with your partner
When you first explore the anal area, it can feel weird, strange, and uncomfortable. So make sure that you and your partner have talked this through and you are both on board to trying it out. Talking to your partner is more crucial when you are already doing it so be open and tell your partner what you feel. A safeword could help you guys out.
Prep, Prep, Prep
Great anal play and sex come with preparation. Now that you’re mentally and emotionally ready for the pains and pleasures of anal sex, you can now focus on physical preparations like cutting your nails, anal training by trying it out on yourself first, and getting your space ready because let’s admit it, any kind of sex can be messy.
If you and your partner have decided to have penetrative anal sex, start slowly with touching and caressing the anal area to get used to it and to ensure you are both relaxed. Sex toys, fingers, and mouth are great help for anal play. This will give you a low-key impression and sensations of anal stimulation so you can work your way up to the big show.
Teamwork it out
As your partner glides down on your behind and explores the area, guide their hand or fingers so they can pick up the pace that’s right for you. Think of it as dancing: Your partner moves to your tempo.
Don’t forget the lube
There is no rule in anal sex, except for this one – and you might need plenty of it. You may have heard some say that too much lube takes the friction away which is totally wrong by the way. There is no such thing as too much lube, especially for the backdoor entrance.
Regular sex just happens naturally, no thinking, just going with the flow. Anal sex could be that too! We know you’re worried at this point but let your mind and soul be taken away at the moment. Precautions are good but worrying and think too much takes the fun out of it so let loose and enjoy the moment. Once the condom is in and the proper amount of lube is set, you’re good to go!
If it hurts, stop!
Some new sensations are to be expected on your first anal sexperience, and these new sensations may not always be good. If you feel some pains, then it is fine to just stop. I’m sure your partner will understand. We don’t want to be running to the emergency room for serious anal injuries or infections.
Clean up your act
Although your anus and rectum are cleaner than you think, accept that teeny tiny faecal matter will always be there. Wash well right after and then you can continue on your lovin’ with your partner. NEVER go from anus to vagina or mouth without cleaning thoroughly.
The But(t)s of Anal Sex
Unlike the casual regular sex where a man’s penis enters a woman’s vagina, anal sex comes in with risks. It requires a bit of extra planning, preparation, and of course, communication with your partner if they would be willing to explore on it. But generally, with appropriate precautions, anal sex is safe for the most part.
Increased Risk of Bacterial Infection
The vagina provides its own lubrication when a woman is aroused. The anus, however, does not. Lack of lubrication combined with the rectums’ thin lining increase the risk of friction-related tears that exposes the skin. Since stool naturally contains bacteria when passing through the rectum, these bacteria can potentially invade the skin through these tears leading to deep skin infections.
How do we avoid this? Using water based-lubricants and moving slowing through the activity can minimise the risk of unwanted tears and infection.
Increased Risk of STDs and STIs
As mentioned above, since anal sex leads to bacterial infections, it also increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Hepatitis, HIV, and Herpes. These can be long-term conditions, as many STDs and STIs are yet to have a cure.
How do we avoid this? This is where condoms come in handy. Make sure to use safe and high-quality condoms as well as lubricants. Water-based lubricants are safer to use with condoms. A 2016 journal suggests that using saliva as lubricant imposes a risk for gonorrhoea in men who have sex with another man. Thus, a commercial lubricant is a safer option.
The Bottom Line
Deciding whether to have anal sex is very personal and requires you and your partner to both be on board and comfortable about the whole idea. Do as much research as you can before trying it out and discuss them with your partner. The same goes if your partner is initiating it. Do not let a partner pressure you into trying anal sex – the decision is yours and yours alone.
If you try it and you don’t like it, that’s completely okay, no harm done (well, hopefully). There are plenty of other ways to spice things up in the bedroom if you prefer to keep the backdoor closed.